Monday, November 27, 2006

How to act in Public, Pt. 1

Hi ya'll. I'm ranting. I went back to work today after being off for nearly a solid week and things I typically forget about came flying to the forefront of my attention.

My grandparents own a gas station. It's the whole shee-bang setup of gas, food, drinks, oil, you get the idea (only no suveniors). I'm now 23 years old and I've been working in there, right with the public since I was AT LEAST 12 (and I've been in and out after candy since I was 3). So I have the experience to know what I'm talking about.

There are some things the public evidently is not aware of, so I'm going to educate.

FIRST OFF I work in a PUBLIC place. Your PRIVATE information is none of my business (and even though I'm nosey- I don't give a toot to hear it)

Before I continue, let me just say, these are all REAL LIFE EXPERIENCES. I'M NOT BLOWING SMOKE UP YOUR BUTTS, PEOPLE.

1. If you are having problems in the bathroom--PLEASE DON'T SHARE
--A customer came in one time and a co-worker of mine asked him if he's like a sausage biscuit. His reply, and picture a hand over his gut and his shaking head (and I've quoted word-for-word), "No way, yesterday one of them biscuits done tore me up. Spent all day in the bathroom"
--I asked a customer once, "Can I get you something to eat." And I knew his reply was going to be something I didn't want to hear when he covered his gut with his hand. "Whew. No. I gotta go home and change. I just messed up my britches."

2. If you are having problems in the married life--KEEP IT TO YOURSELF
--You wouldn't believe the men that inform us that their wives are withholding sex from them. The amount of men that have moved out because their wives will no longer 'put out'.
--Many a men has held us for thirty minutes or longer while explaining the problems their having in the home (cheating wife, kids in trouble- list is endless)

3. If you suddenly feel the urge to compliment my looks--PLEASE USE SOME MANNERS
--"Damn girl, you looking fine today. Can I get your number?" For some reason, that line just doesn't make me hand over my phone number. And, I'm married. That's why I wear a wedding ring.

4. Profanity
--Believe it or not, but cussing like a drunk is actually illegal (in my area) in public. Please keep your GD's, F-ing's this and that outside.

5. Tis rude to chat on your cell phone while I'm trying to wait on you. If your call to your buddy recapping the night before activies is that important, then please, finish your conversation then seek my services.

Tune in tommorrow for more.....

2 comments:

Arkansas Cyndi said...

Keri - Do you think those guys complaining about their wives and their sex lives think that the woman hearing all this makes her want to jump across the counter and do him on the floor? That has to be the oldest and lamest "pick-up" BS...bet somewhere in the Bible, some man complained about his wife to get another wife!

Cell phones - the bane of modern exsistence!

Profanity - I think some people think it makes them sound "cool" and "impressive" when they sprinkle lots of GD's, etc in their language. What it says to me is that they vocabulary is so limit that they lack they ability to find appropriate words to express their feelings

Cyndi

Keri said...

A co-worker of mine often has wondered if somebody tattooed 'Cousenlor' on the front of her forehead without her knowledge.

I guess the men just need somebody to share their problems with. And we become that person that their wife will never meet so we can't tell all the things he said!

Keri